Imagine an ordinary city bus. It stops and passengers get onboard. Every passenger changes the atmosphere of the bus. If it’s a grieving old lady, she reminds everyone of loss. If young lovers get on board, the whole bus smiles a little because they’re happy. If a thug gets on, looking for a fight, everyone gets ready for a fight. No matter who gets on, the bus still follows its route, and everyone gets off when they’re ready to leave. Continue reading →
See, Do, Teach
If you think that going to therapy means you can go to a shrink’s office, unload all your problems, and walk away a new man, you’ll be disappointed. You might feel better for a minute, but if you go home and do the same things you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
Therapy involves learning new skills. The couple who’s coming in for marriage counseling needs to learn to listen and respond differently. The anxious person must learn to relax; the depressed one, how to keep going; and the addicted one, why and how to stop using their substance. Every person must be able to observe themselves accurately and compassionately. The greater part of all this learning occurs outside the therapy hour, far from your shrink’s office.
Projective Identification
If you read the last post in this series and thought projections were tricky, wait till you see what I’ve got for you now. You are ready to explore projective identification.
It works like this. Someone projects a quality on to you and, even though the quality does not describe you well, you go with it and end up exhibiting that quality, regardless.Continue reading “Projective Identification”
Happy Thanksgiving
Projection
Here’s an obvious truth: when you first meet someone, you don’t know them. Even when you’ve met a dozen times, you still don’t know them. Oh, you pick up a few things, many of them subliminally; but most of what you think you know, you’ve projected on to them.Continue reading “Projection”
Optimal Living Daily
Recently, Joc Marie read a chapter from The Road to Reconciliation, “Calibrate your Compass”. You can listen by following this link.
Hitchhiking on the Road to Reconciliation
Psych Up Live
Today I was interviewed by Suzanne Phillips in Psych Up Live on the VoiceAmerica Variety Channel about The Road to Reconciliation: Pitfalls and Possibilities.
Stop the Madness
I have many role models, but two of them are of the negative type: people who have made mistakes I want to avoid. The first is James Nasmith, the inventor of the game of basketball; the second is Thomas Jefferson.
The reason I don’t want to be like Nasmith is not because he invented basketball. B’ball is a wonderful sport. I don’t want to be like Nasmith because he exemplifies something I want to avoid. The tendency to become oblivious to madness.Continue reading “Stop the Madness”
The Beauty and the Beast
You’ve seen Disney’s version of the Beauty and the Beast. If you’ve had a toddler, you’ve seen it a thousand times. Did you know that you may be acting it out in your own life? Do you realize it might be ruining everything?
You know the story: a charming young woman falls in love with a beastly man and, through her love, he is transformed into a prince. The ancient Greeks had elements of the plot in their myths of Eros and Psyche and Hades and Persephone. In fairy tales, you have ladies kissing frogs. Then there’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and, in our own time, a variation was developed in the Phantom of the Opera. The hope it offers is intoxicating. The picture of marriage seems true to life.Continue reading “The Beauty and the Beast”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 