What’s the difference? Not everything is your fault. In fact, most things are not your fault; you had nothing to do with them. You didn’t ask to be born to these people or at this time or this place, at least so far as we know. You didn’t invent the language you speak. You didn’tContinue reading “Responsibility and Blame”
Monthly Archives: December 2020
What Pigeons Can Teach You About Expectations
A lot of psychological studies are just plain silly. Do we really need experimental data to tell us that power corrupts, or that pain and sickness are depressing, or that people like to hear things that confirm their biases? However, there is one bit of experimental psychology that, when I tell people about it, causesContinue reading “What Pigeons Can Teach You About Expectations”
Disgust Management
I have an idea for a new business opportunity for us shrinks. You know how they have anger management classes that judges, employers, and spouses send people to when they keep losing their cool? The kind like in the movie with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson? Yeah, that. Well, anger’s not the only emotion thatContinue reading “Disgust Management”
Protected: What Kind of Justice Do You Want?
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Can Therapy and Spirituality Co-Exist?
Even though shrinks are quite spiritual, they tend to be skittish about religion. There are three ways we shrinks handle spirituality. We either A) ignore it and pretend it doesn’t matter, B) help the client work through what they’ve been taught till they arrive at beliefs and practices that work for them, or C) indoctrinateContinue reading “Can Therapy and Spirituality Co-Exist?”
Disgust
If you need to be convinced that the feeling of disgust is a peculiarly powerful and primitive emotion, try this experiment. Get a clean glass. Spit in it. Now drink it. Even if you can drink the spit, you know what I’m talking about. You know there’s nothing wrong with the spit. You swallow yourContinue reading “Disgust”
Fifty Minutes Set Apart: Psychotherapy’s fraught relationship with time
When you meet with me, you and I are not alone. We share the psychotherapy session with an ordinary, unobtrusive, but tyrannical object. A clock. My relationship with the clock is a troubled one. Sometimes it’s my savior, my teammate, my partner, other times it’s my rival. It’s a valuable tool and a necessary evil.Continue reading “Fifty Minutes Set Apart: Psychotherapy’s fraught relationship with time”
The Gumbo of Grief
Forget the stages, forget the “correct” order. Grief is more like a gumbo than a Powerpoint presentation These days, no one can shed a tear without someone mentioning the five stages of grief. I’m convinced that when people sit with the bereft, they bring up the stages just so that they can have something toContinue reading “The Gumbo of Grief”
I and Thou
To understand relationships, it is essential to understand what the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber meant by I and Thou. Continue reading →
Why 2020 is the Year to Observe Advent
You don’t even need to be religious You may think you know all about Christmas, but you may not realize that you’re missing a whole ‘nother holiday between Thanksgiving and December twenty-fifth. No, I don’t mean Black Friday. You’re missing Advent. Continue reading →