A Guide to Pain and Suffering

Your feelings tell you about the state of your body. If you’re putting on a roof, carrying shingles up a ladder, swinging a hammer until your hand falls off, sweating it out at a hundred and ten degrees, your body will have a lot to say. You may not want to listen to it. You’veContinue reading “A Guide to Pain and Suffering”

Dissatisfaction and Craving

Sharpening your point until you miss it There are two ways of wanting something; you can be broad, or you can be precise. It’s possible to be too broad or too precise. There are many other words in the vast family of wanting: annoyance, anxiety, boredom, complaint, discomfort, dismay, displeasure, disquiet, distaste, exasperation, frustration, discouraged,Continue reading “Dissatisfaction and Craving”

Don’t Play the Problem’s Game

When Problems Take Over a Relationship How does a persistent problem get started and what keeps it going? Why does it seem to be immune to your attempts to defeat it? Let me explain how it gets so hard and how problems manipulate you into feeding them. Continue reading →

The Cost of the Placebo Effect

And Whether Walking in the Woods Would Do You Some Good Any time is a good time for a good dose of Shinrin-yoku; but, I think early summer, after being cooped up because of a pandemic is best. Shinrin-yoku is the Japanese term for forest bathing, or forest therapy. That’s getting therapy by walking inContinue reading “The Cost of the Placebo Effect”

Ride The Ego Balloon

The ego is a good tool if you understand its uses and limitations It all starts with you being a child. You have it really good. People take care of you, they feed you, clothe you, give you hugs, and put your awful drawings on the refrigerator with unrestrained praise. But nature cannot allow youContinue reading “Ride The Ego Balloon”

Driving to Death

Taking the long way through trauma Why do trauma victims re-experience their trauma in flashbacks and nightmares? We need some help from Freud to explain. In Beyond the Pleasure Principle. Freud noted that, in their dreams, flashbacks, and patterns of behavior, trauma victims compulsively repeated their horrible experiences as if they were happening in theContinue reading “Driving to Death”

Create Problem-Free Zones

When Problems Take Over a Relationship If you’ve been hurt and a Problem has taken over your relationship, there’s plenty that you can do, other than succumb to the Problem yourself. Just because your boyfriend wants to get stinking drunk every time he goes out, doesn’t mean you have to clean him up when heContinue reading “Create Problem-Free Zones”

Is Your Doctor Going the Way of the Family Farm?

I used to be a farmer. I should say, I used to be a farmer the way farmers used to be. I raised pigs, chickens, goats, and cows. I tried to raise ducks and geese, but they flew away. I had a quarter acre garden and grew acres of buckwheat and corn. I helped theContinue reading “Is Your Doctor Going the Way of the Family Farm?”

Feed the Person, Starve the Problem

One Halloween when I was a kid, I came home from trick-or-treating with a plastic pumpkin full of chocolate. My mouth had been watering ever since the second doorbell, but my costume prohibited taking an early snack. As soon as I got home, the mask came off, and I had my first piece of chocolate.Continue reading “Feed the Person, Starve the Problem”