If you have ever been to a sawmill like the one I used to run, you have seen one of the most fearsome objects you are ever likely to meet: a saw blade at least three feet in diameter with teeth as big as a tiger’s whirring loudly just a couple feet from the operator.Continue reading “Freedom”

Evidence-Based Therapy

In the peculiar land of shrinks, evidence-based therapy is a phrase we use a lot. It’s supposed to refer to therapy that’s backed by scientific evidence. But what they call evidence-based therapy is not evidence-based therapy. It’s a term for a standardized, manualized, commoditized therapy protocol. It’s not necessarily the best therapy for you.Continue readingContinue reading “Evidence-Based Therapy”

Why I Don’t Specialize in Anything

As a therapist, I could’ve had a specialty; but I wouldn’t be the kind of therapist I am. I did some post grad work in family therapy and some more in substance abuse. I sought for ways to address the desire my clients had to quit using tobacco back in the days when few othersContinue reading “Why I Don’t Specialize in Anything”

Nine Kinds of Madness and the Hole in the Middle of it All

In the middle of everything, there’s this deep, dark, depressing hole. It’s a chasm, really, and when you fall in, sometimes there’s no climbing out. When we call it anything at all, we often call it death, brokenness, or despair. I like to call it the abyss, or, more familiarly, the hole or the pit.Continue reading “Nine Kinds of Madness and the Hole in the Middle of it All”

Relationship Badass Podcast

If you’d like to hear me go on and on about reconciliation, I was interviewed by Nicki Sunshine on the Relationship Badass Podcast. Here is the episode on Soundcloud: Stitcher: It is also available on Apple Podcasts under Relationship Badass Podcast

Ride the Ego Balloon

You may be amused, instructed, affirmed, chastened, enriched, or enlightened by my latest video. The ego is a good tool if you understand its uses and limitations. The ego balloon can make you crazy, but it’s often a good crazy, a necessary madness, provided you can land the thing when it needs to come down.


Back when I worked at a large mental health clinic, the receptionist came into the lunchroom and said a vampire was asking to see a therapist. Who would like to work with a vampire? Everyone’s hands shot up because vampires are fascinating. The receptionist must have liked me best, because I got chosen. She wouldContinue reading “Nouns”