Everything you need to know about confidentiality

Counseling will work to the degree that you are confident my office is a safe place to bring up sensitive matters, but you will have to take some risks. The things we talk about are confidential. I will not repeat the things we discuss in a way that can be traced back and identified with you. There are some limits and challenges to confidentiality, though. You need to know what they are.

The Counselor

Sometimes the counselor can interfere with the counseling being a safe place. You will not be honest with me if you think I will judge, preach, blame, chew you out, abuse, or criticize you. But I will respond to what you say to me. I would not be human if I did not have a reaction. It would seem weird if I just sat there.

The most frequent complaint I’ve heard from clients about other counselors is that they just sit there, inscrutable, and don’t offer any help. I don’t have this problem, but I am always mindful of giving you the space to talk about what you need to talk about without imposing my own values.

The Office

There will be a white noise machine by my door to mask sounds coming from my office. I’ve tested it. Unless people are screaming, it’s impossible for anyone to hear what we talk about in my office. My files are locked and you will not see any private information on my computer screen or on my desk.

In the Community

I will not say hi to you if I see you out in the community. I don’t want you to have to explain to anyone you’re with how you know me if you are not comfortable in doing so. If you are comfortable, then go ahead and approach me.


The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPPA) Privacy Rule provides consumers with important privacy rights and protections with respect to their health information, including  important controls over how their health information is used and disclosed by health plans and health care providers. If you would like to read a government document discussing these rights, click here. If you don’t want to read it, I don’t blame you in the least.


If you choose to use insurance to pay for your sessions, you or I will have to give them some information. If I’m an in-network provider, I will send a claim after each session telling them that you saw me, the date and duration of the session, the type of therapy provided, and a diagnosis code. They seldom ask for anything more, unless we are trying to get approval for more sessions.

If I’m out-of-network, you will have to send them that information if you want to reimbursed. After each session, I will email you a receipt, called a superbill, that contains that information. You pass it on to them.

If you don’t pay your bill

Payment is due at the time of service. If you fail to pay, there is a $5 per month late fee. If months go by and you still don’t pay, then I refer the bill to a collection agency. They will have your name, demographic information, dates of service, and charges, but I will not pass clinical information onto them.

Release of information

You may want me to pass on information to others. I frequently have clients who are required to attend counseling or get an evaluation by probation, parole, the courts, a parent, or a spouse. If that’s the case, then I’ll ask you to sign a release that states I have permission to share information with others.

I have found that having to report to the authorities may affect the things you will talk to me about. It can be hard to be honest. For that reason, I give them the minimum amount of information they need.

If others are involved in your treatment

If you are seeing someone else, like a doctor, for medication, for instance; it is generally best if I work together with that person. This may necessitate that I share information with them about you. If that’s the case, I will ask you to sign a release. If there is particular information you don’t want me to include, tell me what that is and we will discuss whether I can exclude it.

If you’ve just come from another facility and I need information from them, I might ask you for permission to contact them. If that’s OK, then sign a release.

In an emergency, then no one in the health care field waits around for releases to be obtained before information is shared that is vital to your safety. If I get a call from an emergency room, for example, I will give them whatever information they need to assess and treat you effectively.

Family Therapy

If you’re coming to see me with your spouse or other family member to improve your relationship, most of the time you will be meeting me with them. If there is something you would like to talk about without your family member present, whatever the reason, then please ask to see me individually.

When I work with couples in marriage counseling, I will often set up individual sessions so we can talk privately. I don’t do this because I believe it’s best to have secrets from your spouse; I do it so it can be easier for you to talk. I will regard the things you tell me as confidential and will not repeat them to your spouse when I see them individually or with you.


I use secure, HIPAA compliant video conferencing platforms for sessions. The phone is less secure, but we can use that means if it is more convenient for you.

I will treat the things you say in telehealth sessions with the same confidentiality as if you spoke in face-to-face sessions. I am still required to report to local authorities if there are safety concerns. However, I do not have the same level of control over your privacy that I have when you are in my office. You will have to ensure that no one is able to overhear us.

Domestic Violence

I, and most other counselors, may not meet with couples for marriage counseling when there is an ongoing threat of domestic violence. It may seem that marriage counseling would make sense in cases like that, but often the situation is often not safe enough for marriage counseling. I don’t want you to bring up something up in my office, thinking it’s a safe place, and pay for it when you get home. When there is domestic violence, I might work with one or both people individually on whatever issues are relevant.


If I learn in our conversations that you are planning harm to yourself or others, I am obligated to take action towards safety. This may mean that I get you to the hospital. It may mean I call the police. It may mean that I warn the person threatened. If you have physically or sexually abused a child and are that child’s caretaker, I will have to report this so it can be investigated.


You may have heard that the Safe Act in New York requires that mental health professionals report any client to the authorities who possesses a gun and is likely engage in conduct that puts people or themselves at risk. The authorities would then revoke that person’s permit to possess a firearm.

That is true, but, when they wrote the law, they defined mental health professionals as psychologists, psychiatrists, registered nurses, and social workers. In their haste, they left out licensed mental health counselors and certified alcohol counselors which is what I am. (They also left out substance abuse counselors.) This leaves me in a very ambiguous position. On one hand, the intent of the law was clearly to include me and my colleagues, on the other hand, they could have, but didn’t.

The way I have settled this for myself is to do what I have always done. If I learn you are planning harm to yourself or others, I take action towards safety. This may mean that I get you to the hospital. It may mean I call the police. Confidentiality is important, but saving lives is more important.

Court Order

Theoretically, a judge can order me to testify or submit my records to court. However, in thirty-five years, I have only had one subpoena to do this and, in that case, I evoked privileged communication and the request was withdrawn. I would do the same if it ever happened again.

Consultation and Training

Being able to consult with and learn from other professionals is vital to me as a therapist. Every month I host a peer supervision group with colleagues. I sometimes work with an intern who sees me for supervision. I also attend training and conferences where cases are discussed. If I ever bring up your case in those settings, I will not share identifying information.

My Writing

I do a lot of writing. I have a blog, in which I post regularly. I publish articles about mental health and relationships. I’m always working on a book, either fiction or non-fiction.

Certainly, my work as a therapist enters into the things I write about. I seldom write case studies. I don’t like them aesthetically, and I also wouldn’t want my clients shocked to find themselves written up in entirety as an example. If I ever am interested in writing about your case in detail, I will get your permission first.

My fictional work is sometimes inspired by my own experiences and stories I’ve heard, but it is still fiction. Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Social Media

I’m on Twitter, largely to promote my writing. You are welcome to follow me. My handle is @theshrinkslinks

I’m on Facebook, but, if you’re a client and send me a friend request, I will decline. Not because I don’t like you, it’s just that it crosses boundaries into the personal. If you are already one of my Facebook friends, I will refer you to someone else for counseling.

I have an Author Facebook page, also where I promote my writing. Feel free to like it, if you do.

LinkedIn is a different matter than my personal Facebook page. I have a page on LinkedIn and, because it deals with my professional life, I will accept invitations to connect there. However, please don’t expect me to endorse you for a skill I know nothing about.

Electronic Medical Record

I keep your records electronically on an encrypted cloud server provided by Simple Practice. I use this software for online appointment scheduling, appointment reminders, charting, emailing, billing, insurance claims, and business management. I selected Simple Practice because it is HIPPA and HITECH compliant. I believe it is more secure than keeping paper records. Click here to read a government assessment of the security of electronic medical records.

Patient Portal

I also selected Simple Practice because it enables me to involve you in every aspect of your treatment. You can look up, schedule or change appointments, view and download account balances, pay your bill online, and exchange secure, encrypted messages with me. I send you a summary after each session to remind you what we talked about.

Phone and Texts

You may call or text me at 585-732-1970. This is my cell number, both business and personal. If I don’t pick up it’s because it’s not a good time to talk. If you leave me a voice mail message or text, I will try to get back to you by 9 pm at the latest.

Be advised that neither phone, nor texting is not a secure form of communication. You may not care, with the things you are likely to call or text about. That’s why, if you chose to call or text, I will call or text you back.

I work by myself in a private practice and it is impossible for me to always be available for emergencies. If you’re in crisis, nearly anywhere, you can get help by calling 911. If you’re in the Rochester area, dial 211 to call Lifeline at any time.


You can email me at, but it is not an encrypted form of communication, so I prefer to use the email service provided in the patient portal.

Incapacitation or Death

In the event I am dead or unable to function, I have arranged to have the staff at Spritus Christi Mental Health Clinic notify you that I will be unable to keep my appointments. If you need help finding another therapist, they will help you. They will be the confidential custodians of both clinical records and financial accounting for six years after you were last seen. Then they will destroy them. If you need copies of anything before they’re destroyed, call them at 585-325-1180.


I do not ask for testimonials because I do not think it’s ethical for me to do so. If you want to write a review, good or bad, or recommend me to friends and family, I can’t stop you from doing so.

Feedback and Complaints

The best way for me to get better at counseling is to get accurate, constructive feedback from my clients. I try to do this in a way that doesn’t overwhelm you with surveys or detract from the reason you see me. Please let me know, by email or when we meet, any reactions you have to our sessions or the summaries I send, positive or negative. This feedback helps me improve.

I try to follow the ethics guidelines set forth by the American Counseling Association. Click on the link if you want to read them.

I am licensed by New York State as a Mental Health Counselor (LMHC). (Click on the link to verify) You can contact that office if you have a complaint.

Until recently, I was a Certified Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC), but I let that designation go because I can already work in addictions as a mental health counselor.

So, that’s it. I’ve tried to think of everything to enable you to trust me. If you still have trouble trusting, that’s not unusual. Maybe you were hurt in the past. Tell me about it and we will work through it together.