Emotional Labor

Who’s Really the Boss? It sounds like a capitalist’s dream come true, monetizing your feelings. Except it’s already come true. There are many jobs that include emotional labor. Sociologist, Arlie Hochschild was perhaps the first to write, back in 1983, about emotional labor in her book The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling. In herContinue reading “Emotional Labor”

It’s Three in the Morning, Do You Know Where Your Schemas Are?

You’ll Need Them If CBT Doesn’t Work One of the nice things about being a reflective eclectic is I have loads of methods I can use to help people who see me for psychotherapy. Sometimes it’s simple. If you come in and say you’re anxious, I can teach you a method of breathing that mayContinue reading “It’s Three in the Morning, Do You Know Where Your Schemas Are?”

Just What is a Good Grief, Charlie Brown?

Here was the world famous authority on grief; and there I was, your humble writer and shrinker of heads, sitting with him in a conference. He had just spoken about grief, the things that will cause it, what it does to people, and how to help them heal. He had many wise things to say,Continue reading “Just What is a Good Grief, Charlie Brown?”

What is the Evidence that You Are Plural?

A Review of “Many Minds, One Self” By Schwartz and Falconer I have an image of being a practical, no-nonsense kind of therapist to uphold. A certain sort of underserved clientele flock to me because they think the mental health world is glutted with flakiness. Should I really be telling them that they are inhabitedContinue reading “What is the Evidence that You Are Plural?”

Wrapping Your Head Around the Inexplicable

Part Two: Taming Wild Thoughts Lots of inexplicable things happen all the time. The ones that disturb our dreams, we call trauma. But, if you allow yourself to look, the inexplicable is all over the place. We try to stuff it in mental boxes, so we don’t have to live in that mess, but notContinue reading “Wrapping Your Head Around the Inexplicable”

Wrapping Your Head Around the Inexplicable

Part One: Listening Without Memory, Desire, or Understanding You don’t get it. Your husband cheated on you when you thought your marriage was fine. Your teenage daughter used to be sweet, but now she says she hates you. You told your wife a hundred times how to load the dishwasher and she still does itContinue reading “Wrapping Your Head Around the Inexplicable”

The Hatred of Democracy

And What It Does to Your Mind and Your Marriage Who hates democracy? We all do, says French philosopher, Jacques Rancière in his 2005 book, The Hatred of Democracy. It was hated by Plato, who lived in its birthplace, ancient Athens. It’s hated even by blue blooded Americans like me. Our Founding Fathers weren’t tooContinue reading “The Hatred of Democracy”

The Dangers of Self-Actualization

Did Nietzsche Lose His Way? Before anybody started talking about self-actualization[i], there was Nietzsche who taught us how to become who we are. Then he went mad and never made sense again. That being the case, can we trust him, or any of the people who speak about self-actualization, to be our guides?

Addiction Takes Hostages

Some Things You May Not Know About Substance Abuse, Part 5 The further people go into addiction, the more their lives center around it. They discard all forms of recreation in favor of activities that include the addiction. All of their friends become using friends. Non-using friends drift away and the addict is drawn toContinue reading “Addiction Takes Hostages”

Status: The Influencer of Influencers

Social status has a secret influence on your life. If you’d like to understand how, the first thing you must do is to get rid of the image you may have of those who shamelessly flaunt their status: the ruthless social climber, the top hatted mogul, the braggart with the golden toilet, the virtue signalingContinue reading “Status: The Influencer of Influencers”