When Your Partner Can’t Talk About His Feelings “She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not. She loves me!” Saying this while pulling petals off a flower is a silly way to determine whether she loves you, but it’s easier than engagingContinue reading “Alexithymia and the Hermeneutic Laborer”
Tag Archives: Emotions
Just What is a Good Grief, Charlie Brown?
Here was the world famous authority on grief; and there I was, your humble writer and shrinker of heads, sitting with him in a conference. He had just spoken about grief, the things that will cause it, what it does to people, and how to help them heal. He had many wise things to say,Continue reading “Just What is a Good Grief, Charlie Brown?”
Longing for Community
I was on Interstate 86, heading east, returning from a road trip that took me across most of the country, when I entered Allegany County, in western New York. It was a place I knew well, but not as well as I might. I lived in Allegany County for two short years before I movedContinue reading “Longing for Community”
I lot of people mistake venting for therapy. They think that if they can say what’s on their mind, they’ll feel better and get that problem off their chest. They will, up to a point. If you have something you’re trying to figure out, or something you need to be honest about, then vent away.Continue reading “Venting”
Boundaries and Trust
Think of your Self as a house. There are some people in your life who you never have to trust. They’re like people who never come in to your house. You pass them on the street and go by. You see them all the time, but they don’t know you. Others, you trust in someContinue reading “Boundaries and Trust”
Why is it Hard to Talk About Feelings?
You don’t have to be hyper-rational or repressed to have a hard time talking about feelings, you could be emotionally intelligent and still have difficulty. Feelings are hard to talk about. There are simple reasons and deeper, more complex reasons. The simple ones first. Continue reading →
As if understanding feelings wasn’t hard enough, we also have to understand feelings that aren’t really feelings: metaphorical feelings. Continue reading →
The feeling that detects the impossible. A lot of feelings will draw your attention elsewhere where your attention doesn’t do you any good. The feeling of frustration is this way. When you’re feeling frustrated, your attention is on the object of your frustration when it should be on yourself. Continue reading →
Do You Really Have a Choice with Your Feelings?
If you say you got pisssed off, gripped by fear, sadness overcame you, lost hope, filled with gratitude, or overwhelmed by joy; the passive voice you use about your feelings reveals a misconception of how they work. Continue reading →
Why Love and Hate are Inseparable
No matter how much you love your loved one, you also hate him; no matter how much you depend on him, you can’t completely trust him. This, surprisingly, turns out to be a good thing; not a confusing, frustrating thing, as you might suppose. Continue reading →