How can reading a blog help you change? It can’t. You can’t learn to play tennis by reading, either. You’ve got to play. I took tennis lessons once. The coach asked me to show him my serve. I hit a few. I looked over and saw him shake his head. “We have a lot ofContinue reading “What my Tennis Coach Taught Me about Change”
Category Archives: Old Posts
Nine Kinds of Madness and the Hole in the Middle of it All
In the middle of everything, there’s this deep, dark, depressing hole. It’s a chasm, really, and when you fall in, sometimes there’s no climbing out. When we call it anything at all, we often call it death, brokenness, or despair. I like to call it the abyss, or, more familiarly, the hole or the pit.Continue reading “Nine Kinds of Madness and the Hole in the Middle of it All”
Walk the Dog and Understand How your Minds Work
(Image/Pigsals) If you’ve ever watched a person walk a dog, you’ve seen a good illustration of your mind at work. You have two minds: one is like the dog, the other like the dog walker. If you’ve ever watched a person walk a dog, you’ve seen a good illustration of your mind at work. YouContinue reading “Walk the Dog and Understand How your Minds Work”
Marriage Rights for Singles
We live in remarkable times. For decades, heterosexuals have been fleeing the institution of marriage; first, by divorcing in great numbers, then, by living together outside of marriage and by delaying it to later in life. At the same time, homosexuals have won the right to marry. They understand the benefits of committing yourself toContinue reading “Marriage Rights for Singles”
What Color are Your Glasses?
You know what rose colored glasses are, right? People who are said to be wearing rose colored glasses are said to be seeing the world as only pleasant and happy. We scoff at people wearing rose colored glasses. They are naive, sanguine, and overly optimistic. But glasses come in all colors. They all distort yourContinue reading “What Color are Your Glasses?”
Cook the Negativity
You learn a lot quicker from negative experiences than you do from positive ones. The stick is more damaging than the carrot is enticing. There’s a good reason for that. If you get whacked hard enough by the stick, it won’t matter how many carrots you have. But the result is that you will continuouslyContinue reading “Cook the Negativity”
Take Out the Garbage
I once facilitated a group for people recovering from severe mental illnesses. We met once a week and they talked about how things were going for them. They tried to support each other. One day a man came in and said his landlord was going to evict him if he failed to clean his apartment.Continue reading “Take Out the Garbage”
When You Need Your Space
Some days, you just need your space. The trouble is, your partner is there, too, and if you try to get some space, they may take it personally. You don’t want to get into a long discussion over why you need your space when you need your space. It may not be good to getContinue reading “When You Need Your Space”
The Problem with Labels
In this video I use a fly to demonstrate how labels limit understanding.
You Can’t Stop Thoughts from Knocking at the Door, but You Don’t Have to Answer
Every day I work as a shrink I hear someone say the same thing, “I wish I could stop my thoughts.” They’re talking about intrusive thoughts. The kind of thought you wish you didn’t have. I wish they didn’t have these thoughts. These are usually destructive thoughts, thoughts of drinking, drug use, gambling, violence, worries,Continue reading “You Can’t Stop Thoughts from Knocking at the Door, but You Don’t Have to Answer”
Keith R Wilson 