Projective Identification

If you read the last post in this series and thought projections were tricky, wait till you see what I’ve got for you now. You are ready to explore projective identification. It works like this. Someone projects a quality on to you and, even though the quality does not describe you well, you go withContinue reading “Projective Identification”

The Beauty and the Beast

You’ve seen Disney’s version of the Beauty and the Beast. If you’ve had a toddler, you’ve seen it a thousand times. Did you know that you may be acting it out in your own life? Do you realize it might be ruining everything? You know the story: a charming young woman falls in love withContinue reading “The Beauty and the Beast”

Ride the Ego Balloon

You may be amused, instructed, affirmed, chastened, enriched, or enlightened by my latest video. The ego is a good tool if you understand its uses and limitations. The ego balloon can make you crazy, but it’s often a good crazy, a necessary madness, provided you can land the thing when it needs to come down.

The Madonna and the Whore

For centuries, men have been putting women, and women have been putting themselves, into two categories, the Madonnas and the Whores. Consequently, they either get sex without love, or love without sex. The Madonna is serious, pure, virginal, loving, forgiving, safe, and supportive. She washes the man’s socks. She raises his children. He can leaveContinue reading “The Madonna and the Whore”

Natural Variations

Take any two people and there will always be a natural variation between them regarding any characteristic. There will always be one who is more strict with the kids, open to in-laws, careful with money, adventurous in bed, ambitious about career, social, self-confident, flirty, interested in a clean house, closer to family, better at math,Continue reading “Natural Variations”

What my tennis coach taught me about change

Can reading a blog help you stop the madness? It can’t. You can’t learn to play tennis by reading, either. You’ve got to play. I took tennis lessons once. The coach asked me to show him my serve. I hit a few. I looked over and saw him shake his head. “We have a lotContinue reading “What my tennis coach taught me about change”