Marriage Rights for Singles

We live in remarkable times. For decades, heterosexuals have been fleeing the institution of marriage; first, by divorcing in great numbers, then, by living together outside of marriage and by delaying it to later in life. At the same time, homosexuals have won the right to marry. They understand the benefits of committing yourself toContinue reading “Marriage Rights for Singles”

Projective Identification

If you read the last post in this series and thought projections were tricky, wait till you see what I’ve got for you now. You are ready to explore projective identification. It works like this. Someone projects a quality on to you and, even though the quality does not describe you well, you go withContinue reading “Projective Identification”

The Beauty and the Beast

You’ve seen Disney’s version of the Beauty and the Beast. If you’ve had a toddler, you’ve seen it a thousand times. Did you know that you may be acting it out in your own life? Do you realize it might be ruining everything? You know the story: a charming young woman falls in love withContinue reading “The Beauty and the Beast”

The Madonna and the Whore

For centuries, men have been putting women, and women have been putting themselves, into two categories, the Madonnas and the Whores. Consequently, they either get sex without love, or love without sex. The Madonna is serious, pure, virginal, loving, forgiving, safe, and supportive. She washes the man’s socks. She raises his children. He can leaveContinue reading “The Madonna and the Whore”

Announcement: Online School

I’m pleased to announce the opening of the Road to Reconciliation’s Online School for all those who need step-by-step instructions to find peace when relationships go bad. The first course available is How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. Click here if you would like to find out more. Soon, IContinue reading “Announcement: Online School”

Research on How to Make an Effective Apology

I didn’t see this research until after I completed my book, The Road to Reconciliation, so I couldn’t include it; but I’m happy to report that the findings support what I said about how to make and screw up an apology. Most people screw them up. In Apologies of the Rich and Famous: Cultural, Cognitive,Continue reading “Research on How to Make an Effective Apology”

Announcement: The Road to Reconciliation is Available

After at least two-and-a-half years since I started it, my book, The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad, is available in paperback and on Kindle. Now comes the part I hate: pitching it and talking about it at a time when I am ready to go on to otherContinue reading “Announcement: The Road to Reconciliation is Available”

What Breathing Can Teach Us About Relationships

Sometimes people have trouble grasping what it means to let go. If that’s the case, I have metaphors. Lots of metaphors. Here’s another one. Letting go is as simple as breathing; exhaling, to be precise. The entire breathing cycle can be seen as a metaphor of relationships. You start off in need. You have desires.Continue reading “What Breathing Can Teach Us About Relationships”

The Dance of Relationship: A Guide to the Positions

  When we think about love, we may picture something like this #1. This position is called Turning Towards. You’re facing each other, open to each other, and paying attention to no one but each other. You may be touching. You might believe this is the most desirable of the positions, but it’s very intense.Continue reading “The Dance of Relationship: A Guide to the Positions”