Tag Archives: Relationships

You’ve Been Groomed 

You’ve Been Groomed  Both the Addict and the Ones They Harm Are Groomed By Addiction It’s bad enough to know you’ve been hurt; but if you want to prevent it from happening again, there’s something even worse to think about. The one who hurt you might have groomed you to be a victim. By groomed, IContinue reading “You’ve Been Groomed “

If You’re Addicted, Staying Clean is Not Enough

Relationships Must Be Restored If all you do is abstain from your drug, you’ve got a good start; but it’s just a start. There’s lots of repair and rebuilding yet to do if you want to earn all the rewards of your recovery and prevent relapse from happening again.

Positive Reinforcement is Not Enough to Motivate a Person to Recover from Addiction

But Neither is Pain You’re a good parent, a loving spouse, a decent boss, a fair judge, or a caring therapist. You took psychology in college. You learned that positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement. Therefore, you reason, all you need to do is reward your loved one when he does well. GiveContinue reading “Positive Reinforcement is Not Enough to Motivate a Person to Recover from Addiction”

Alexithymia and the Hermeneutic Laborer

When Your Partner Can’t Talk About His Feelings “She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not. She loves me!” Saying this while pulling petals off a flower is a silly way to determine whether she loves you, but it’s easier than engagingContinue reading “Alexithymia and the Hermeneutic Laborer”

The Dangers of Self-Actualization

Did Nietzsche Lose His Way? Before anybody started talking about self-actualization[i], there was Nietzsche who taught us how to become who we are. Then he went mad and never made sense again. That being the case, can we trust him, or any of the people who speak about self-actualization, to be our guides?

Longing for Community

I was on Interstate 86, heading east, returning from a road trip that took me across most of the country, when I entered Allegany County, in western New York. It was a place I knew well, but not as well as I might. I lived in Allegany County for two short years before I movedContinue reading “Longing for Community”

How to Be Close to Your Loved Ones Without Losing Your Mind

Spending too much time at home will put a strain on your relationships. You’ll get on each other’s nerves. Pet peeves will put your love at risk. Even if you get along, you’ll become like roommates; seeing each other continuously, but lacking real intimacy. So, you either drive each other crazy or get bored.

How to Cope with Being Left Alone

Chapter 3a of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult There had to be a time when I was a baby, left in my crib, screaming my head off, wondering if someone would ever come. Someone did, but not before a momentous realization occurred. Up until that point, I mightContinue reading “How to Cope with Being Left Alone”