The Self Concept

Chapter 7b of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult The mission of the Rebel is to claim certain feelings, beliefs, and practices as my own, distinct from others. It establishes the boundaries of the Self and assiduously patrols them. It guards my individuality and protects me from losing myContinue reading “The Self Concept”

The Critic in Disguise

Chapter 6c of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult An Inner Critic will sometimes disguise itself as someone else to give more authority to the things it says. That happened to me once at the grocery store. I was happily browsing in the coffee aisle when a woman cameContinue reading “The Critic in Disguise”

Shame’s Minions: The Inner Critics

Chapter 6b of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult Shame has such an important job to do, to protect me from rejection, that it spawns a horde of minions to do much of its work. These are the Inner Critics, who dominate a great deal of airtime in myContinue reading “Shame’s Minions: The Inner Critics”

Fear at the Grand Canyon

Chapter 5b of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult It was an ordinary day inside my head. I was relaxed, happy, and had not a care in the world. All the people in my brain were getting along. I couldn’t ask for any better than that. Outside my head,Continue reading “Fear at the Grand Canyon”

The Evolution and Domestication of Feelings

Chapter 5a of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult I suspect I’m not going to find my Inner Adult in my feelings. There doesn’t seem to be anything adult about them. Good or bad, they are some of the most childish things I’ve got. How can I be soContinue reading “The Evolution and Domestication of Feelings”

Are the Inner Voices of My Parents My Inner Adults?

Chapter 4b of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult Parents hope you will install bots of themselves in your brain for when they can’t be around to stop you from doing things they would disapprove. If your father was the kind that yelled at you when you swiped aContinue reading “Are the Inner Voices of My Parents My Inner Adults?”

The Bot I Call My Parent

Chapter 4a of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult When we closed the last post, we left me screaming, alone in my crib. Eventually, I learned to accept transitional objects I call security blankets to help me pretend I wasn’t alone. At this stage of my life, they wereContinue reading “The Bot I Call My Parent”

The Security Blanket

Chapter 3b of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult In the last installment, I began to talk about how babies learn to cope with being left alone in their crib and the long-term outcome of this universal experience. The baby finds itself in an abyss, utterly helpless and confusedContinue reading “The Security Blanket”