You’re never going to come to peace with the awful things that have happened if they are still happening, nor should you. The most important thing in the process of coming to terms with the things that have happened is to protect yourself. Maybe your partner has stopped doing that thing that hurt you: drinking,Continue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Protect Yourself”
Tag Archives: Marriage
The Road to Reconciliation: Commit to Values
Once you get in touch with your feelings and allow them to speak to you, they can point you to what is important. They’ll remind you of aspirations you’ve had since you were small. They’ll indicate the direction towards life satisfaction. They’ll give instructions for a meaningful life. To the extent you’ve been victimized, yourContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Commit to Values”
The Road to Reconciliation: Honor your Feelings
If you’re the victim, you take the first step towards repair by honoring your feelings. You’ve been putting up with a lot. This relationship is not what you thought it would be. There have been lots of problems; but, you say, there are problems in every relationship. You have to take the good with theContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Honor your Feelings”
The Road to Reconciliation: Cheap Pardon
Most of what passes for forgiveness is actually a cut-rate imitation, an easy, breezy amnesty that you extend, not because it’s earned, but because you don’t want to deal with it. It preserves the connection you have with the person who offended you. You don’t have to fight, express your feelings, or watch anyone squirm.Continue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Cheap Pardon”
The Road to Reconciliation
You’re wounded and angry. Someone close to you, who should be loving you, hurt you instead. You don’t know what to do. Should you stay or should you go? Put up with the shit, or give it right back to him? Retaliate or bury your feelings? If neither choice seems very good, it’s because neitherContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation”
The Shrink’s Links: The Road to Reconciliation
Beginning this Friday, I will be posting chapters of a new weekly series, The Road to Reconciliation. This is a writing project I’ve been working on that spells out the process couples take to put old injuries and disappointments behind them and move on to a more functional, satisfying relationship. On this website, I willContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: The Road to Reconciliation”
The Baby in the Room
You know what it’s like when there’s a baby in the room. At best, the baby is delightful and everyone is cooing and coddling the cute little tyke. At worse, the baby’s screams prevent anyone else from saying a word or even thinking a complete thought. If the baby is upset, then everything must stopContinue reading “The Baby in the Room”
The Shrink’s Links: Hugging till Relaxed, the Video
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Hugging till relaxed is elegant and simple. The basics require four sentences: stand on your own two feet. Put your arms around your partner. Focus on yourself. Quiet yourself down – way down. – David Schnarch Watch the video and learn: Articles I have written hundredsContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Hugging till Relaxed, the Video”
The Shrink’s Links: Surviving Infidelity
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. There are few experiences as painful and as confusing as learning your partner has been unfaithful. Was it him, her, or you? Do you stay together or split? What do you tell your children? Can anyone understand? survivinginfedelity.com conducts forums staffed by experienced moderators. There’s aContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Surviving Infidelity”
Some Things You May Not Know About Substance Abuse, Part 7: In the beginning of recovery, it doesn’t matter if you are self motivated. It just matters that you have motivation
In the beginning of recovery, it doesn’t matter if you are self motivated. It just matters that you have motivation Most people believe that internal or self motivation is the best kind of motivation and that people who are motivated for recovery to please others, whether they be the court, a spouse, a boss, orContinue reading “Some Things You May Not Know About Substance Abuse, Part 7: In the beginning of recovery, it doesn’t matter if you are self motivated. It just matters that you have motivation”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 