When Reconciliation is Impossible: Settling for Personal Peace

Not everyone makes it all the way to reconciliation. You can’t get there alone. If your partner has not done his part, you’ll have to settle for Personal Peace. Personal Peace is nice; but, because it’s personal, you can’t share it. If you have done your part to arrive at reconciliation, you’ve already experienced muchContinue reading “When Reconciliation is Impossible: Settling for Personal Peace”

Learn to Walk

Stand with your feet comfortably together. Take one foot and stick it out in the direction you want to go until you throw yourself off balance. Then, at the last instant, when you’re about to fall on your face, bring the other foot forward to stop yourself from falling. Repeat this dangerous operation as longContinue reading “Learn to Walk”

If You Can’t Find Help

Let’s face it, it is a whole lot easier to acquire a Problem than it is to get help in eradicating it. In many localities, there are drug dealers at every corner, but to get your loved one to a clinic, takes two buses. Intake coordinators will make him wait in a room with oldContinue reading “If You Can’t Find Help”

Team Up with the Person Against the Problem

If you get the opportunity to work with your loved one to vanquish the Problem, don’t mistake this opportunity for the Problem, itself. You could blow your chance because of the presence of your own Problem. Let’s say your husband has not been able to keep it in his pants. He’s flirted with others, cheatedContinue reading “Team Up with the Person Against the Problem”

Sharpening the Point Till You Miss It

There are two way of asking for what you want; you can be broad, or you can be precise. It’s possible to be too broad or too precise. Let’s say you’ve been together for years and you have become vaguely dissatisfied. Nothing really bad has happened between you; but nothing exciting has happened, either. OneContinue reading “Sharpening the Point Till You Miss It”

How The Art of War Can Help Your Marriage

The Art of War, that classic work of Chinese literature, written in from the 5th century BC and attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu, is packed with good advice on marriage, although marriage is never once mentioned. It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war that canContinue reading “How The Art of War Can Help Your Marriage”

Asking for what you want without asking for trouble

All too often, people who know what they want, fail to get it, not because their partner is unwilling, but because they ask for it in a manner that starts a fight. If you’ve been following along as I describe the road to reconciliation and dealt first with your own shortcomings, before correcting the faultsContinue reading “Asking for what you want without asking for trouble”