All too often, people who know what they want, fail to get it, not because their partner is unwilling, but because they ask for it in a manner that starts a fight. If you’ve been following along as I describe the road to reconciliation and dealt first with your own shortcomings, before correcting the faults of others, you can avoid a lot of these unnecessary fights; but not all. Manners still matter. The way you talk about things matters as much as the things you say.
If you want to ask for what you want and actually have a chance of getting it, there are certain rules to follow, regulations to adhere to, guidelines that increase your chance of success. I wrote about all of these in detail in my other book, Constructive Conflict, but let me summarize some of these regulations for you here, now. [Continue reading…]