Relationships Must Be Restored If all you do is abstain from your drug, you’ve got a good start; but it’s just a start. There’s lots of repair and rebuilding yet to do if you want to earn all the rewards of your recovery and prevent relapse from happening again.
Tag Archives: codependency
The Addict’s Family Needs as Much Help as the Addict
The Addict’s Family Needs as Much Help as the Addict Even if you’ve never done anything addictive in your life, if you love a person with an addiction, addiction is your problem, too. When an addiction takes over a person, it takes over a relationship. The people in the relationship disappear and the needs ofContinue reading “The Addict’s Family Needs as Much Help as the Addict”
Positive Reinforcement is Not Enough to Motivate a Person to Recover from Addiction
But Neither is Pain You’re a good parent, a loving spouse, a decent boss, a fair judge, or a caring therapist. You took psychology in college. You learned that positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement. Therefore, you reason, all you need to do is reward your loved one when he does well. GiveContinue reading “Positive Reinforcement is Not Enough to Motivate a Person to Recover from Addiction”
The Righteous Idiots
The addiction, the madness, the lying, the cheating, and the selfishness have just done too much damage. Your relationship is crippled and you’re not sure whether it will ever be the same again. You’ve heard enough apologies, forgiven too much. You can’t forget all the things that have happened. You’ve hardened your heart, dug in,Continue reading “The Righteous Idiots”
Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation
Playing the Victim So far, you’ve been bearing right on the road to reconciliation. There’s a good reason for this. To the left are all the hazards that come from not taking your injuries seriously enough: becoming an Impossible Martyr, a Denier, or a Discount Pardoner. You have gotten in touch with your hurt andContinue reading “Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation”
Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation:
Stay On the Road To stay on the Road to Reconciliation, and not drive off over the cliffs on either side, you first must acknowledge your hurt, then set it aside. You must recognize that you were a victim, but don’t play the victim. Avoid forgiving cheaply, but don’t be such a fool that youContinue reading “Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation:”
Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation:
The Helpless I’m glad I didn’t decide to be an experimental psychologist. If I had, I might’ve had to lock dogs up in cages and shock them for the sake of science. As it is, others can do it and we can benefit from the things they learned by doing so. Continue reading →
The Discount Pardoners
Once you’ve acknowledged that someone you love has hurt you, next comes the difficult decision of what to do about it. Some of the people you meet in the Road to Reconciliation think they’ve found a short cut. They give pardon away cheaply, believing then everything can just go back to normal. Continue reading →
Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation
Meaningful Suffering Versus Becoming an Impossible Martyr Is the hurt you are experiencing from your loved one providing the meaning and purpose to your life? Continue reading →
Victims in Denial
One type you’ll see on the side of the road to reconciliation are the Deniers. You’ll see them, but they won’t see you. They’re blind, deaf, and insensible to touch. They only know what they want to know, what’s convenient to them, what fits in the worldview they feel they must have. If the evidenceContinue reading “Victims in Denial”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 