The Shrink’s Links: Terry

Bringing you the best of mental health every week. You may think you know George McGovern. Maybe not, maybe you’re too young to know the Democratic presidential nominee who challenged Nixon in 1972 and lost abysmally. Politically, he was my generation’s Bernie Sanders. Long after his presidential bid, he wrote a book, Terry: My Daughter’sContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Terry”

Addiction Wants it All

The trouble starts when you accommodate the wrong thing. Partners deserve accommodations. Reasonable compromise is at the heart of friendship, much less love. It’s better to give than to receive. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. There is no greater love than to lay down your life. If your girlfriend had the flu,Continue reading “Addiction Wants it All”

Are you a Partner or a Hostage?

Let’s sort this out: Partners have choices. Hostages have to do what they’re told. Partners can leave and speak. Hostages are bound and gagged. Partners share power. Hostages have no power. Partners compromise. Hostages adjust. Partners are trusted. Hostages are checked up on. Partners are loved. Hostages are blackmailed. Partners’ boundaries are observed. Hostages’ boundariesContinue reading “Are you a Partner or a Hostage?”

When Addiction Takes Over a Relationship

Even when people are firing on all cylinders, relationships can be tricky. When your partner is addicted, they can be impossible. Addiction takes a relationship into a dangerous territory where clarity turns gray and selfishness rules the day; where individuals disappear and are replaced by need; where spouses are objectified, resented, and manipulated; where weddingContinue reading “When Addiction Takes Over a Relationship”

The Shrink’s Links: The Human Magnet Syndrome

Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Why might you be attracted to people who hurt you? What can you do about it? Ross Rosenberg gives an answer to the first question in his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome. As for the second: you just have to leave them and then not hookContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: The Human Magnet Syndrome”

When Illness Takes Over: How to be a Sentry

  When illness takes over a relationship, it takes hard work to eradicate the intruder and eternal vigilance to keep it away. Relapse can be expected. When we are talking about addiction, it takes an average of seven real attempts before recovery feels solid and, even then, you won’t know if he’s going to needContinue reading “When Illness Takes Over: How to be a Sentry”