Not everything is your fault. In fact, most things are not your fault; you had nothing to do with them. You didn’t ask to be born to these people or at this time or this place, at least so far as we know. You didn’t invent the language you speak. You didn’t have a choiceContinue reading “What’s the Difference Between Responsibility and Blame?”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Announcement: Excellus Blue Cross/Blue Shield
I’m pleased to announce that I now am an in-network provider for Excellus Blue Cross/Blue Shield. In other words, I “take” their insurance. Most of the time. It’s complicated. If you need to know just how complicated it is, click here to read the article I wrote on what it means to “take” an insurance.
Emotions: Do You Have a Choice?
Anger, fear, sadness, hopelessness, joy, hope, gratitude, back to anger, fear, and sadness, in no particular order and sometimes all together, at once. When your relationship is in trouble, you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Let’s take a step away and look at what emotions are and what, if anything, we can do about them.
What Can’t Be Hurt
If you were hurt by someone you love, it’s important to get real about the injury and account for all the damages inflicted: the common money the compulsive gambler spent, the trust the adulterer squandered, the confidence the abusive parent wrecked. It’s equally important to note the damages that were not done, the parts ofContinue reading “What Can’t Be Hurt”
The Road to Reconciliation: Learn to Walk
Stand with your feet comfortably together. If you want to go somewhere, what do you do? You take one foot and put it forward until you throw yourself off balance. Then, at the last instant, when you’re about to fall on your face, you bring the other foot up to meet it, until you areContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Learn to Walk”
The Road to Reconciliation: Calibrate your Compass
Take a perfectly functional compass and put it in a room with an electromagnet and it will forget which way is north. It’ll point to the magnet because the magnet is exerting a force that it cannot ignore, far more powerful than that exercised by the distant, measly north pole. When a problem enters aContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Calibrate your Compass”
The Shrink’s Links: Book Review: Internal Family Systems Therapy
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. You are divided. You must have noticed this when you’re trying to decide whether to have that chocolate cake, or stick to your diet; when you rise, groaning from your bed, despite how comfortable that pillow looks; when you want to tell your boss to shoveContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Book Review: Internal Family Systems Therapy”
The Shrink’s Links: Spanking
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Being the father of four children, I completely understand the urge to spank. My children are all adults and I still, from time to time, want to take them over my knee and give them a good one. So, there is the urge, but beyond theContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Spanking”
The Road to Reconcilation: Stay on the Road
First, I had you acknowledge your feelings, then set them aside. I had you recognize that you were a victim, then I urged you to stop playing the victim. I told you to not forgive cheaply, then I said you were a fool not to forgive. So, which is it? You ask. What do IContinue reading “The Road to Reconcilation: Stay on the Road”
The Shrink’s Links: Being and Nothingness
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. If you read my last post, entitled Avoid Playing the Victim, you would have come across this example. I stole it. The fourth sign [of playing the victim] is hard to explain. Imagine going to a restaurant and getting a waiter who is so attentive, soContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Being and Nothingness”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 