Travis and Suzanne entered my office, sat down at opposite sides of the room, and immediately began to speak at once, competing for airtime. Travis was addicted to cocaine, Suzanne his long-suffering wife. The last time Travis used cocaine had been eight months ago; but at that point he had been repeatedly leading the familyContinue reading “A Reconciliation Case Study”
Tag Archives: Relationships
How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again
If you’re in the doghouse and would like to get out, today is your lucky day. I just published a new book that can show you how: How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. This is the third in a series, all designed to help you have more satisfying, and lessContinue reading “How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again”
Helping Brains Talk to One Another
Here’s something that’ll surprise you. Other people know you better than you know yourself. It surprised you, didn’t it? That just goes to show that people can predict how you’ll feel. Upon that counterintuitive claim rests David Schnarch’s new book, Brain Talk: How Mind Mapping Brain Science Can Change Your Life & Everyone in It.Continue reading “Helping Brains Talk to One Another”
The Talking Stick
Here’s another object in my office I want to tell you about. It’s a Talking Stick. No, the stick doesn’t talk. You do when you hold it. The concept of the Talking Stick comes, I’ve been told, from an old Native American tradition. When the elders gathered in a teepee to talk about important matters,Continue reading “The Talking Stick”
Research on How to Make an Effective Apology
I didn’t see this research until after I completed my book, The Road to Reconciliation, so I couldn’t include it; but I’m happy to report that the findings support what I said about how to make and screw up an apology. Most people screw them up. In Apologies of the Rich and Famous: Cultural, Cognitive,Continue reading “Research on How to Make an Effective Apology”
The Dance of Relationship: A Guide to the Positions
When we think about love, we may picture something like this #1. This position is called Turning Towards. You’re facing each other, open to each other, and paying attention to no one but each other. You may be touching. You might believe this is the most desirable of the positions, but it’s very intense.Continue reading “The Dance of Relationship: A Guide to the Positions”
When You Need Your Space
Some days, you just need your space. The trouble is, your partner is there, too, and if you try to get some space, they may take it personally. You don’t want to get into a long discussion over why you need your space when you need your space. It may not be good to getContinue reading “When You Need Your Space”
Love: The Prisoner’s Dilemma
I can guess how this sounds, but love relationships remind me of the Prisoner’s Dilemma. Two conspirators are arrested and brought into separate interview rooms. They are both given the opportunity to turn state’s witness against the other. The one that takes the deal goes free, and the other gets ten years. If both confess,Continue reading “Love: The Prisoner’s Dilemma”
The Rock Tumbler
Back when my son was a child, he used to dig holes in the back yard. He would adopt stones that he liked and would line the shelves of his room with them. His mother used to complain of the grime he brought into the house, until, noting a sustained interest in geology; we gotContinue reading “The Rock Tumbler”
You’re 36 Questions Away from Romance
Bringing you the best of mental health Can falling in love be as easy as asking and answering 36 questions? Well, no; they have to be the right questions and you also have to have at least four minutes of eye contact. Social psychologist, Arthur Aaron, needed to create a sense of emotional closeness inContinue reading “You’re 36 Questions Away from Romance”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 