The wind stopped blowing and the sky looks nice, but, if this is a hurricane, you may be passing through the eye of the storm. The earthquake has struck, but watch for aftershocks. You’ve had a minor stroke, but is a major one coming along? If your loved one did something to hurt you andContinue reading “Has the Hurt Ended?”
Tag Archives: Reconciliation
Assessing the Damage
If you were in a car accident and sued the person at fault, you would go to court and describe the accident to establish culpability, of course; but, at some point, the judge would ask you what it cost to fix your car. The judge is asking for a monetary figure so she can fixContinue reading “Assessing the Damage”
Looking at the Flip Side
If you’ve been hurt by the one you love, don’t forget to look at the flip side. That’s the other side of the coin, the positives, the reason you have been with the person in the first place. It’s only fair, but don’t do it because it’s fair. Do it because the flip side saysContinue reading “Looking at the Flip Side”
The Road to Reconciliation: The Journey, Restated
I’ve been at this series for quite a while, describing the road to reconciliation. These posts are an early draft of what I expect to be my next book. You have the privilege of getting it first; but, sometimes, as I write, need to go back and revise. That’s the case this time. I hadContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: The Journey, Restated”
The Shrink’s Links: The Principle of Tenacity
Bringing you the best of mental health every week. In this year’s election, you may have noticed people clinging to unreasonable political beliefs. When they post their poorly considered opinions on Facebook, you try to argue against them, but you can’t convince them of anything. Why is that? Why can’t they change? How can youContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: The Principle of Tenacity”
The Road to Reconciliation: Understand the People of the Mind
As if it wasn’t hard enough to deal with the people who hurt you, you also have to deal with their representatives you carry around in your head. Actual people you can divorce, send to jail, move across the country and never see again; the people of the mind follow you, they share your bedContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Understand the People of the Mind”
The Road to Reconciliation: Get out of the middle of the picture
Let’s say you are deeply disappointed in your mother, who never was the mother you needed her to be when you were a child. You want to get past this because, after all, you’re not a child anymore, right? The story, as you tell it, goes like this: My mother divorced my father when IContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Get out of the middle of the picture”
The Road to Reconcilation: Stay on the Road
First, I had you acknowledge your feelings, then set them aside. I had you recognize that you were a victim, then I urged you to stop playing the victim. I told you to not forgive cheaply, then I said you were a fool not to forgive. So, which is it? You ask. What do IContinue reading “The Road to Reconcilation: Stay on the Road”
The Road to Reconciliation: How to Re-Traumatize Yourself
First, a bad thing happens. Rape, murder, combat, abuse. You don’t have a lot of control over it. That’s the point. Something happens way, way out of your control. You barely make it. Now you’re left with the memories. That’s the trauma. Second, the memories come up. You don’t have a lot of control overContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: How to Re-Traumatize Yourself”
The Road to Reconciliation: Don’t be Stupid
The addiction, the madness, the lying, the cheating, and the selfishness have just done too much damage. Your relationship has been crippled and you’re not sure whether it will ever be the same again. You’ve heard enough apologies. You’ve forgiven too much. You can’t forget all the things that have happened. You’ve decided to hardenContinue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Don’t be Stupid”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 