Look at the shoes you’re wearing. Your two shoes go together, they match. No one can say that they don’t. Even if you lose one and leave it behind in the road, they are still a pair of shoes. Now tie them together, one to the other. Go ahead. Now try to walk. You’ll beContinue reading “Getting Closer by Separation”
Tag Archives: Marriage
The Escape Plan Checklist
Every Problematic situation needs an escape plan. Escapes that are not planned tend to go awry, so plot your exit strategy beforehand. These are the elements of an escape plan to consider when a loved one has hurt you. What would trigger the escape? The most important part of any exit strategy is figuring outContinue reading “The Escape Plan Checklist”
Personal Peace: Have an Escape Plan
If a grizzly bear wandered into your home while you were asleep, slipped into bed beside you, and woke you up with its hot breath in your face, what would you do? I think you would plan your escape.
When Reconciliation is Impossible: Settling for Personal Peace
Not everyone makes it all the way to reconciliation. You can’t get there alone. If your partner has not done his part, you’ll have to settle for Personal Peace. Personal Peace is nice; but, because it’s personal, you can’t share it. If you have done your part to arrive at reconciliation, you’ve already experienced muchContinue reading “When Reconciliation is Impossible: Settling for Personal Peace”
Learn to Walk
Stand with your feet comfortably together. Take one foot and stick it out in the direction you want to go until you throw yourself off balance. Then, at the last instant, when you’re about to fall on your face, bring the other foot forward to stop yourself from falling. Repeat this dangerous operation as longContinue reading “Learn to Walk”
If You Can’t Find Help
Let’s face it, it is a whole lot easier to acquire a Problem than it is to get help in eradicating it. In many localities, there are drug dealers at every corner, but to get your loved one to a clinic, takes two buses. Intake coordinators will make him wait in a room with oldContinue reading “If You Can’t Find Help”
Team Up with the Person Against the Problem
If you get the opportunity to work with your loved one to vanquish the Problem, don’t mistake this opportunity for the Problem, itself. You could blow your chance because of the presence of your own Problem. Let’s say your husband has not been able to keep it in his pants. He’s flirted with others, cheatedContinue reading “Team Up with the Person Against the Problem”
How Caretaking Can Be A Problem
You may have actually said it, and it’s true. Taking care of a person with a Problem gives meaning and purpose to your life. Your life needs meaning and purpose. It makes your life worthwhile; it indicates your existence matters. That’s important. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps you going. It’s something you canContinue reading “How Caretaking Can Be A Problem”
What if nothing changes?
If you effectively ask for your loved one to right a wrong he committed, you might find that he’s interested in what you have to say and will do everything he can to please you and become a better person in the process. He just might surprise you and change. Continue reading
Sharpening the Point Till You Miss It
There are two way of asking for what you want; you can be broad, or you can be precise. It’s possible to be too broad or too precise. Let’s say you’ve been together for years and you have become vaguely dissatisfied. Nothing really bad has happened between you; but nothing exciting has happened, either. OneContinue reading “Sharpening the Point Till You Miss It”
Keith Wilson - Counseling 