Field Guide to Feelings – Page 3

Feeling words

If you’re ever struggling with a feeling, try to put it in words. Words will reduce the feeling to a manageable intensity. It’s a magic trick they do. But watch out; words will trick you, too. Continue reading →

What Drag Queens Can Teach You About Your Feelings

The most feminine people I know are men who dress up and call themselves drag queens. The fact they can do that so convincingly, calls into question the notion of femininity and masculinity. Continue reading →

Cabin Fever: How Compulsion Feels from the Inside

I used to live in a cabin, so I should be an expert on cabin fever. At age nineteen, I emigrated to western New York to live on a remote piece of land, a quarter mile from the nearest neighbor and built that cabin. They didn’t plow my dirt road, so I’d be snowed inContinue reading “Cabin Fever: How Compulsion Feels from the Inside”

Your Emotional Immune System

There are germs everywhere; but most of the time, you don’t get sick because of your physical immune system, consisting of everything from the tough hide of your skin, to the snotty mucus of your nose; the white cells of your blood, to your ability to sneeze and vomit all the bad stuff out ofContinue reading “Your Emotional Immune System”

A Bad Mood

A bad mood is when your feelings get stuck in a terrible place and you can’t change them, no matter what. You’ve been in the doldrums for weeks, sad and depressed, even though you have nothing to be sad and depressed about, except for being sad and depressed. How do you shake that feeling andContinue reading “A Bad Mood”

Grudge

Suppose you’re angry on Tuesday because someone stole from you on Monday. On Wednesday that person returned what he stole, compensated you for the inconvenience, apologized, and credibly promised never to do it again. If you’re still angry on Thursday, you are said to be holding a grudge. Plenty of people say grudges should beContinue reading “Grudge”

Envy

Envy is not a rare feeling, but it’s a rarely acknowledged one. No one likes to admit they’re envious. Instead, they’ll call it some other feeling: anger, injustice, resentment, sadness, hurt, puzzled, lonely, bored, or jealous, among others. But, if you have ever been unhappy that someone had something you don’t, you were envious; admitContinue reading “Envy”

Stillness

Most feelings seem like wild carnivores that ambush you, jump out of the bushes, seize you in their jaws, carry you off, and consume you till there’s nothing left. Stillness is not like that. Stillness is like a rare flower, easily overlooked; but, if you find it, you’ll want to collect and grow it inContinue reading “Stillness”

Acceptance and Disappointment

I once knew a woman who had a pet snake. It was a beautiful snake; but, when she took it to the park, it wouldn’t catch frisbees. When she sat with it on the couch, it didn’t feel soft to pet. When people came to the door, it wouldn’t bark. The woman had a beautifulContinue reading “Acceptance and Disappointment”

Anomie: Who is Driving Your Bus?

Imagine an ordinary city bus. It stops and passengers get onboard. Every passenger changes the atmosphere of the bus. If it’s a grieving old lady, she reminds everyone of loss. If young lovers get on board, the whole bus smiles a little because they’re happy. If a thug gets on, looking for a fight, everyoneContinue reading “Anomie: Who is Driving Your Bus?”