I lot of people mistake venting for therapy. They think that if they can say what’s on their mind, they’ll feel better and get that problem off their chest. They will, up to a point. If you have something you’re trying to figure out, or something you need to be honest about, then vent away.Continue reading “Venting”
Category Archives: Field Guide to Feelings
What Are Feelings For?
Feelings are like the idiot lights on your car. They’re crude messages about your state of being. When the oil light goes on in your car, you know to check the oil. When you feel angry, you know there is a perceived injustice somewhere. You don’t ignore the idiot light on your car, do you?Continue reading “What Are Feelings For?”
How Feelings Are Made
Science often tells us that things are not what they seem. Why should feelings be any different? Continue reading →
A Guide to Pain and Suffering
Your feelings tell you about the state of your body. If you’re putting on a roof, carrying shingles up a ladder, swinging a hammer until your hand falls off, sweating it out at a hundred and ten degrees, your body will have a lot to say. You may not want to listen to it. You’veContinue reading “A Guide to Pain and Suffering”
Dissatisfaction and Craving
Sharpening your point until you miss it There are two ways of wanting something; you can be broad, or you can be precise. It’s possible to be too broad or too precise. There are many other words in the vast family of wanting: annoyance, anxiety, boredom, complaint, discomfort, dismay, displeasure, disquiet, distaste, exasperation, frustration, discouraged,Continue reading “Dissatisfaction and Craving”
Why Can’t We Turn Away?
The fascinating and appalling state called abjection There’s a psychological mechanism that isn’t very well known, yet it’s involved behind the scenes in many emotions. It plays a part in disgust, revulsion, repugnance, aversion, distaste, nausea, abhorrence, loathing, detestation, horror, contempt, weird, outrage, terror, fear, fright, panic, dread, trepidation, hatred, hate, abomination, execration, odium, antipathy,Continue reading “Why Can’t We Turn Away?”
How Your Body Can Help You Find Peace
If you’ve been feeling depressed, anxious, grieving, guilty, or preoccupied with cravings, then you probably tried to reason yourself out of it. You’ve wanted to get your head screwed on right and the clouds cleared from your mind. You believed if you talked to somebody, they could tell you things that might help you feelContinue reading “How Your Body Can Help You Find Peace”
Privilege
I’ve been to some pretty rough places, but have seldom been afraid. This isn’t because I’m a tough guy. It’s because I’m a guy; a white guy, six-foot-tall, two hundred pounds, more muscular and athletic than most. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. That’s my privilege. Continue reading →
Freedom
If you have ever been to a sawmill like the one I used to run, you have seen one of the most fearsome objects you are ever likely to meet: a saw blade at least three feet in diameter with teeth as big as a tiger’s whirring loudly just a couple feet from the operator.Continue reading “Freedom”
Why Love and Hate are Inseparable
No matter how much you love your loved one, you also hate him; no matter how much you depend on him, you can’t completely trust him. This, surprisingly, turns out to be a good thing; not a confusing, frustrating thing, as you might suppose. Continue reading →