Relationships, Part 3: Be careful how you tie yourself

Pair of black man shoes tied togetherLook at a shoes you’re wearing. Your two shoes go together, they match. No one can say that they don’t. Even if you lose one and leave it behind in the road, they are still a pair of shoes.

Now tie them together, one to the other. Go ahead.

Now try to walk.

You’ll be able to do it. You’ll take short, mincing steps. If you had to walk that way, you could. If you lived in a world where everyone tied their shoes together that way and walked, you might not think to do it differently. However, I think you’ll agree it doesn’t work well that way.

Go ahead and retie them the way they are supposed to be tied. This is the end of the demonstration.

Now think about your relationships. How do you tie people to you? Why do you do this? Do you keep them close so that there can be no question that you are a pair? Are you afraid to lose your partner? Or is it you that might get lost?

Think about how you lose a shoe. You don’t lose a shoe because it’s not tied to its partner. You lose it when it’s not tied to itself.

Keep yourself tied to yourself and you won’t get lost. In other words, be a fully functioning adult. Take responsibility, have composure, and practice moderation and meaningful endurance.

When your partner keeps him or herself tied, he or she won’t get lost, either. Both of you, keep yourselves tied and you’ll be able to walk, together.

Click here to go to the entire Relationships series.

Published by Keith R Wilson

I'm a licensed mental health counselor and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor in private practice with more than 30 years experience. My newest book is The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad. I recently published a workbook connected to it titled, How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. I also have another self help book, Constructive Conflict: Building Something Good Out of All Those Arguments. I’ve also published two novels, a satire of the mental health field: Fate’s Janitors: Mopping Up Madness at a Mental Health Clinic, and Intersections , which takes readers on a road trip with a suicidal therapist. If you prefer your reading in easily digestible bits, with or without with pictures, I have created a Twitter account @theshrinkslinks. MyFacebook page is called Keith R Wilson – Author.

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