Learn to Walk

Stand with your feet comfortably together. Take one foot and stick it out in the direction you want to go until you throw yourself off balance. Then, at the last instant, when you’re about to fall on your face, bring the other foot forward to stop yourself from falling. Repeat this dangerous operation as longContinue reading “Learn to Walk”

If You Can’t Find Help

Let’s face it, it is a whole lot easier to acquire a Problem than it is to get help in eradicating it. In many localities, there are drug dealers at every corner, but to get your loved one to a clinic, takes two buses. Intake coordinators will make him wait in a room with oldContinue reading “If You Can’t Find Help”

Team Up with the Person Against the Problem

If you get the opportunity to work with your loved one to vanquish the Problem, don’t mistake this opportunity for the Problem, itself. You could blow your chance because of the presence of your own Problem. Let’s say your husband has not been able to keep it in his pants. He’s flirted with others, cheatedContinue reading “Team Up with the Person Against the Problem”

How Caretaking Can Be A Problem

You may have actually said it, and it’s true. Taking care of a person with a Problem gives meaning and purpose to your life. Your life needs meaning and purpose. It makes your life worthwhile; it indicates your existence matters. That’s important. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps you going. It’s something you canContinue reading “How Caretaking Can Be A Problem”

The Road to Reconciliation: Protect Yourself

You’re never going to come to peace with the awful things that have happened if they are still happening, nor should you. The most important thing in the process of coming to terms with the things that have happened is to protect yourself. Maybe your partner has stopped doing that thing that hurt you: drinking,Continue reading “The Road to Reconciliation: Protect Yourself”

Reacknowledgment: April is the Cruelest Month

I posted something like this last year, but it bears repeating. Contrary to popular belief, suicide rates do not peak at Christmas time. Here in Western New York, as elsewhere, they peak in April. So does all kinds of psychiatric hospitalization, depression and relapses of addiction. Why is this so, when hopes of Spring abound?Continue reading “Reacknowledgment: April is the Cruelest Month”

Getting Help

We’ve been seeing what happens when addiction takes over a relationship. The people in the relationship disappear and the needs of the addiction consume everything. If you’re the person with the addiction, your job is to recover. If you’re the other person, your job is to recognize the diseased portion of the relationship, stay connectedContinue reading “Getting Help”

Calibrating your Compass

Take a perfectly functional compass and put it in a room with an electromagnet and it will forget which way is north. It’ll point to the magnet because the magnet is exerting a force that it cannot ignore, far more powerful than that exercised by the distant, measly north pole. When addiction enters a relationshipContinue reading “Calibrating your Compass”

Create Addiction Free Zones

If addiction has taken over your relationship, there’s plenty that you can do other than succumb to its evil yourself. Just because your boyfriend wants to get piss-drunk every time you go out, doesn’t mean you have to clean him up. Even if your girlfriend picks fights with everyone, doesn’t mean you have to makeContinue reading “Create Addiction Free Zones”