The Shrink’s Links: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 

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Ball and chain

I picked up Should I Stay or Should I Go? hoping that I might find an algorithm for divorce or reconciliation, some kind of formula in which one could plug in factors and come away with an inarguable conclusion about how much effort couples should put into marriage counseling. Every single couple I have ever met has asked for something like that. Alas, no one, who I can find, has written that book yet.

What Lundy Bancroft and JAC Patrissi have written is a book for long-suffering wives who are having a hard time deciding whether or not to leave their no-good husbands. There are plenty of no-good husbands, so I’m sure it’s a best seller. I think it’s fair to say there are more no-good husbands than no-good wives. However, many of the latter exists and, in most cases, they are married to each other. There is no good reason their book could not be read by long-suffering husbands of no-good wives, except the authors didn’t write it that way. A bias is revealed.

This book is chock-full of provocative questions to get the long-suffering wives of no-good husbands to think of all the angles they need before they settle for less from their husbands than they deserve. Their book has been one of my chief sources for my When Illness takes Over series. For this, I am indebted.

Still, while you are asking provocative questions, couldn’t Bancroft and Patrissi have asked these long-suffering wives of no-good husbands how they contributed to the marital problems? Can’t they turn their incisive insight on themselves?

Click here to go to the book’s website

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