Bringing you the best of mental health every week.
A few weeks ago, I brought you her Ted Talk, which I had first discovered. I was so taken by the hypothesis she presented that I went out and bought her book, Mating in Captivity. I was not disappointed.
Why does sexual desire diminish in many long term relationships? It diminishes precisely because the relationship is working. She writes:
Sexual desire does not obey the laws that maintain peace and contentment between partners. Reason, understanding, compassion, and camaraderie are the handmaidens of a close, harmonious relationship. But… Aggression, objectification, and power all exist in the shadow of desire, components of passion that do not necessarily nurture intimacy.