Here’s another exercise that can improve your relationship. It’ll clear out all those labels and stories you’ve attached to your partner and help you see him or her as they are. It’s called Feeling While Touching.
1. Get within arm’s reach of your partner.
2. One person should go at a time. One person initiating the contact and the other being contacted.
3. One touches the other. Move the touch around.
4. Both stay focused on the sensation of the touch.
5. It’s best if you don’t talk. This way you can focus. Smiling helps. Crying is allowed. A slow pace works better.
6. Start anywhere, stay in the moment.
7. If either of you stops paying attention or gets caught up in thoughts, go back to where you were when you stopped.
8. When, you are done, switch, and let your partner do the touching.
Take sex off the table when you are doing Feeling While Touching. In theory, sex is a good place to get in touch with your partner. In practice, it’s where many disconnect from each other. Once you are done with the exercise, though, if you want to have sex, then go for it. I won’t stop you. You are well prepared.
Click here to go to the entire Relationships series.