Relationships, Part 23: Feeling While Touching

feeling while touching in the animal kingdom

Here’s another exercise that can improve your relationship. It’ll clear out all those labels and stories you’ve attached to your partner and help you see him or her as they are. It’s called Feeling While Touching.

1.      Get within arm’s reach of your partner.

2.      One person should go at a time. One person initiating the contact and the other being contacted.

3.      One touches the other. Move the touch around.

4.      Both stay focused on the sensation of the touch.

5.      It’s best if you don’t talk. This way you can focus. Smiling helps. Crying is allowed. A slow pace works better.

6.      Start anywhere, stay in the moment.

7.      If either of you stops paying attention or gets caught up in thoughts, go back to where you were when you stopped.

8.      When, you are done, switch, and let your partner do the touching.

Take sex off the table when you are doing Feeling While Touching. In theory, sex is a good place to get in touch with your partner. In practice, it’s where many disconnect from each other. Once you are done with the exercise, though, if you want to have sex, then go for it. I won’t stop you. You are well prepared.

Click here to go to the entire Relationships series.

Published by Keith R Wilson

I'm a licensed mental health counselor and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor in private practice with more than 30 years experience. My newest book is The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad. I recently published a workbook connected to it titled, How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. I also have another self help book, Constructive Conflict: Building Something Good Out of All Those Arguments. I’ve also published two novels, a satire of the mental health field: Fate’s Janitors: Mopping Up Madness at a Mental Health Clinic, and Intersections , which takes readers on a road trip with a suicidal therapist. If you prefer your reading in easily digestible bits, with or without with pictures, I have created a Twitter account @theshrinkslinks. MyFacebook page is called Keith R Wilson – Author.

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