A very smart man once came to me and said he wanted to understand himself.
“Have you read Freud?” I asked.
“No.”
“Jung?”
“No.”
“Lacan? Winnicott? Bion? Kline?”
“Never heard of any of them.”
“Did you ever take psychology?”
“I took a course or two. I graduated from Stanford summa cum laude, with a double major in biology and engineering, then I went to medical school at John Hopkins and got an MBA from Harvard.”
“In that case, I don’t think you’ll ever understand yourself. All that schoolwork has rendered you incapable. I could be wrong. If you want, I’ll give you a test, and if you pass, I’ll teach you to understand yourself.”
“All right. I’m good at tests.”
“Two coal miners come out of a mine and head straight to the bar. One comes in with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“The coal miner with the dirty face, of course.”
“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Think about it. The miner with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the miner with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So, the one with the clean face washes.”
“I get it. Next question.”
“Two coal miners come out of a mine and head straight to the bar. One comes in with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“You told me. The miner with the clean face washes his face.”
“Wrong. They both wash. Think about it. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So, the minor with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, he realizes his face must be dirty too. This is why they both wash.”
“I didn’t think of that. I’m ready for another.”
“Two coal miners come out of a mine and head straight to the bar. One comes in with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Well, we know, both.”
“Wrong. Neither. Think about it. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with the clean face sees that the one with the dirty face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. They’re there to drink, not wash their faces. It’s hopeless, you‘ll never understand yourself.”
“No, please, don’t give up on me. Give me one more chance.”
“Two coal miners come out of a mine and head straight to the bar. One comes in with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Neither!”
“Wrong. Maybe now you’ll see why biology, business, medicine, and engineering can’t prepare you to understand yourself. Tell me, how is it possible that two miners could come out of a coal mine, and one comes out with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?”
“But you’ve just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That’s impossible!”
“Maybe, but contradictions are what you must accept if you’ll ever understand yourself.”
Many thanks to the Accidental Talmudist. I took his story and adapted it to my own use.
Keith R Wilson 
Love this! So well written. Thanks for sharing.