A New Lease on your Relationship: Goals

When a landlord and a tenant sign a lease, they both know what they’re getting out of it. The tenant gets an apartment and the landlord gets rent. Both are getting something they want, something they didn’t have before they signed the lease. There’s a reason for their relationship. What is the reason for yourContinue reading “A New Lease on your Relationship: Goals”

Relationships, part 69: A New Lease on your Relationship

If you leased out a portion of your life, what would the terms and conditions be? You own an apartment building with an almost infinite number of apartments, but, once someone moves in, you can never evict them, and they can never leave. You can move them from one apartment to the other. There’s onlyContinue reading “Relationships, part 69: A New Lease on your Relationship”

Relationships, part 68: The Problem with Talking About Love

When you were a baby and became uncomfortable, you didn’t know what you wanted. You could scream, but you had no words to describe what was going on with you or what would change it. Your parents didn’t either. They would try one thing and then another; give you food, change your diaper, burp you,Continue reading “Relationships, part 68: The Problem with Talking About Love”

Relationships, part 67: How Do I Love Thee, Let me Count the Ways

What do you mean when you say I love you? The word love can be used to cover a multitude of sentiments. There is tremendous variety among those who march under the banner of love, from the most selfless angels to the most hate-filled devils. When you say love do you mean? · I wantContinue reading “Relationships, part 67: How Do I Love Thee, Let me Count the Ways”

Part 66: Relationships are Eternal

Once you are in a relationship with someone, you will always be in a relationship with that person. It’s like the Hotel California, you can never leave. I don’t care if you never speak to her again, if you move to the other side of the world, put up a dartboard with her face onContinue reading “Part 66: Relationships are Eternal”

The Shrink’s Links: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  Bringing you the best of mental health every week. I picked up Should I Stay or Should I Go? hoping that I might find an algorithm for divorce or reconciliation, some kind of formula in which one could plug in factors and come away with an inarguable conclusion about how much effort couples shouldContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

Relationships, part 65: Can It, Should It, Be Saved?

Should you be in this relationship to begin with? Related questions are: Is it worth it to work so hard to save a relationship? Aren’t some beyond help? Might it be better to scrap it and start over somewhere else? What if you sacrifice everything to save your relationship, admit your faults, learn to listen,Continue reading “Relationships, part 65: Can It, Should It, Be Saved?”

The Shrink’s Links: The Human Magnet Syndrome

Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Why might you be attracted to people who hurt you? What can you do about it? Ross Rosenberg gives an answer to the first question in his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome. As for the second: you just have to leave them and then not hookContinue reading “The Shrink’s Links: The Human Magnet Syndrome”

When Illness Takes Over: How to be a Sentry

  When illness takes over a relationship, it takes hard work to eradicate the intruder and eternal vigilance to keep it away. Relapse can be expected. When we are talking about addiction, it takes an average of seven real attempts before recovery feels solid and, even then, you won’t know if he’s going to needContinue reading “When Illness Takes Over: How to be a Sentry”

The Shrink’s Links: Long Distance Relationships

Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Bringing you the best of mental health every week. Here’s something I bet you didn’t know, I didn’t. Despite what many people believe, research shows: • Couples in long distance relationships do not break up at any greater rate than more traditional, geographically close, couples. •Continue reading “The Shrink’s Links: Long Distance Relationships”