Shame and the Rebel

Part 7g of Meeting the Voices in My Head and Searching for an Inner Adult

Image by Сергей Корчанов from Pixabay

The Rebel regards my Feelings as entirely within the concept it has of myself, so it doesn’t have much of a problem with them; with one exception, the feeling of Shame. As far as the Rebel is concerned, Shame is a turncoat that’s gone to work for the enemy.

Shame, as we saw, is a feeling that comes up when I’m at risk of being rejected by important others. Its job is to keep me in compliance with their expectations or bring me back in their good graces if I take a misstep. Shame is also the one thing that’s best able to check my other feelings from running amok. The Simulated Others employ Shame to enforce their dictates. This is what makes the Rebel say Shame is a traitor.

I need to have something that opposes Shame, or Shame will run amok. Before the Rebel developed, all I had that would check Shame were the Firefighters and the Fuck-Its. Firefighters, like the rage I feel towards my shamers, destroy as much as they save. The Fuck-Its just toss me into despair. The Rebel may destroy the old order, but it’s not a Firefighter. It’s more like a wrecking crew, which tears something down, so something can be built in its place.

As important as it is, the Rebel lacks the skills and the position to be able to build anything himself. You can’t build a thing without the help of others. A different kind of internal leader is needed, one that can arbitrate between the parts that favor individuation.

If you have been following this series, this is as far as I got before I completely scrapped this version of Meeting the Voices in My Head. I’m working on a new version, what I hope is a better approach to the topic. Stay tuned if you would like to see what I do.

Published by Keith R Wilson

I'm a licensed mental health counselor and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor in private practice with more than 30 years experience. My newest book is The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad. I recently published a workbook connected to it titled, How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. I also have another self help book, Constructive Conflict: Building Something Good Out of All Those Arguments. I’ve also published two novels, a satire of the mental health field: Fate’s Janitors: Mopping Up Madness at a Mental Health Clinic, and Intersections , which takes readers on a road trip with a suicidal therapist. If you prefer your reading in easily digestible bits, with or without with pictures, I have created a Twitter account @theshrinkslinks. MyFacebook page is called Keith R Wilson – Author.

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