Relationships, Part 12: Heads on Pillows

Here’s another exercise that can improve your relationship. It’s called Heads on Pillows.

  1. Set a timer for five minutes.
  2. Lie down with your partner, clothes on, side by side, facing each other.
  3. Put your heads on pillows. If your partner has one eye, you’re too close.
  4. Don’t speak, stroke, or grope. Try not to make funny faces.
  5. Look into your partner’s eyes and try to see all the way into his or her soul. That’s right, the soul.
  6. Continue until the time is up.
  7. Then do whatever you want.

Some people find this exercise uncomfortably intimate. You really become aware of yourself, your partner, and the connection, or lack of it, you have. It’s like Pilates for relationships. It isolates the alliance you have with your partner, better than sex does. In sex, you can always focus on yourself or sensations. Like Hugging until Relaxed, it’ll bring all your issues to the surface where you can work on them.


Click here to go to the entire Relationships series.

Published by Keith R Wilson

I'm a licensed mental health counselor and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor in private practice with more than 30 years experience. My newest book is The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad. I recently published a workbook connected to it titled, How to Make an Apology You’ll Never Have to Make Again. I also have another self help book, Constructive Conflict: Building Something Good Out of All Those Arguments. I’ve also published two novels, a satire of the mental health field: Fate’s Janitors: Mopping Up Madness at a Mental Health Clinic, and Intersections , which takes readers on a road trip with a suicidal therapist. If you prefer your reading in easily digestible bits, with or without with pictures, I have created a Twitter account @theshrinkslinks. MyFacebook page is called Keith R Wilson – Author.

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